Sunday, September 21, 2014

Funny jokes

Prize winning - Messages of the Year

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman - "Which book has helped you most in your life?"

The woman replied - "My husband's cheque book !!

When you are in love,
Wonders happen.
But once you get married,
You Wonder, what happened.

Philosophy of marriage:
At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD...
Later, somehow don't know why….
alphabets get reversed..

Secret formula for married couples...
"Love One Another"
And if it doesn't work, bring the last word to the
the middle.!!!!

A woman finds Aladdin's magic lamp.
She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.
The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her the following wishes:

- I want my husband to have eyes only for me
- I want to be the only one in his life
- I want that when he gets up in the morning I'm the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes."

The Genie turned THE LADY into a SAMSUNG GALAXY S5.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Weight Loss Foods

10 Foods to Eat to Burn More Calories


There are many foods that you can eat each day to burn calories and lose weight. The great news is that these foods are super delicious and they boast amazing health benefits. Try adding several of these foods into your daily or weekly diet and don’t forget to exercise regularly. This way, you will burn mega calories and improve your health. Without further ado, here are 10 foods to eat to burn more calories.

1. Grapefruit 

Grapefruits speed up your metabolism and help burn a lot of calories. This fruit will help you feel full faster and longer with fewer calories. Moreover, grapefruit is rich in fiber that may help stabilize your blood glucose levels. You can add grapefruit to your fruit salad, smoothies or drink a grapefruit juice.

2. Celery

The secret of celery is very simple: it contains less calories and helps burn more than you eat. Celery mostly consists of water that’s why it is good as a part of a balanced diet. However, this food is not suitable for celery diet only as your body won’t get the necessary minerals and nutrients. So the best decision will be to combine it with some other foods.

3. Whole grains

Studies show that whole grains are healthier than refined grains, it lowers the risk of getting a chronic disease. This type of grains is also a good part of a diet as it takes more time to digest and you won’t get hungry for a longer period of time. Whole grains are rich in various vitamins, minerals and carbohydrates but low in fat.

4. Green tea

If you haven’t discovered green tea as a good metabolism booster than it is high time to do it! This exotic Asian hot drink has become something ordinary in our life but we can’t forget about its healthy properties. Rich in antioxidants, green tea boosts your metabolism and helps lose weight, which is just fantastic, ladies, isn’t it? Simply enjoy a cup of hot fragrant green tea and do a great favor to your body.

5. Omega-3

It has been scientifically proved that omega-3 acts as a metabolism regulator. Omega-3 is a fatty acid that affects hormone leptin level, which controls how fast fat is burned. As omega-3 is not produced by our bodies we can only get it by eating fish (tuna, herring, salmon in the first place) or through special additives and omega-3 supplements.

6. Coffee

I think nobody can imagine their life without a cup of delicious coffee to wake up and start a nice cheerful morning. We all know that it is because caffeine that helps us feel lively and alert. As a dose of caffeine gets into the system the heart rate increases, blood takes more oxygen and more calories burn down. Unfortunately, the effect is spoilt by all kinds of creams and sugar added into the cup. Think of a decent replacement for it, for example, you may try cinnamon instead.

7. Avocado

Avocado is a triple-fat burner. It contains monounsaturated fat that speeds up your metabolism and protects the energy-producing part of the cells from free radical damage. Moreover, avocado has a lot of wonderful health benefits. It reduces cholesterol levels, heals wounds, reduces your risk of heart disease and stroke and is good for your eyes and hair. You can eat half an avocado with tomatoes and sea salt for a healthy on-the-go breakfast, add sliced avocado to a green bean and spinach salad, or make a tasty avocado smoothie with cinnamon and coconut milk.

8. Spicy foods

Any spicy thing belongs to the group of foods that help burn calories faster. They are not rich in calories and they may be a great addition to your meals. These may be cayenne pepper or some hot sauces, just make sure that you read the list of content before you put it into your plate.

9. Chia seeds

Chia seeds are rich in protein, fiber, and omega-3 fats and help boost the metabolism, suppress the appetite, and turn on glucagon, our big fat burning hormone. Just soak some chia seeds for about 15 minutes so that they swell up to ten times their size. Chia seeds will keep you fuller longer and prevent you from overeating. You can add them to your smoothies, salads, yogurt or oatmeal.

10. Brazil nuts

One of the most delicious foods to eat to burn more calories is Brazil nuts. These nuts help speed up your metabolism by converting the basic thyroid hormone into T3, the active form of thyroid hormone. Brazil nuts can also help fight cellulite and boost the immune system. Drink Brazil nut milk with cardamom and vanilla, snack on Brazil nuts, or sprinkle some Brazil nuts on a papaya, mango, and citrus fruit salad.

If you are aware of all the positive characteristics of the foods you eat it may become a powerful tool when fighting extra weight. These foods boost metabolism so that calories burn faster. In combination with physical exercises the effect won’t make you wait for a long time. Please share your secrets of healthy eating that helps losing weight, let’s share our experience!

By Diana White

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Foods for Glow Skin

10 Wonderful Foods That Will Give You Great Skin

There are many tasty foods that can give you great skin, and including some of them in your eating plan is essential. When you have a healthy skin, you look much younger and fresher, no matter how old you are. The foods you consume every day play a significant role in the health of your skin as well as your overall health. Nowadays it’s hard to choose foods that are tasty and healthy at the same time. Hopefully, this list of 7 foods to eat to have a gorgeous skin will help you keep your skin healthy and young.

1. Flax seeds

Flax seeds are rich in omega-3’s that play a critical role in controlling the appearance of age spots and fine lines. A study shows that consuming flax seeds every day helps relieve skin redness and irritation and helps make skin look fresh and soft. Add some flax seeds to your oatmeal, smoothies or your favorite muffin recipe.

2. Purple and blue fruits

Purple and blue fruits are among the best foods to eat for a great skin. Blueberries, blackberries and plums are all rich in antioxidants, which combat free radical damage. If you don’t know, free radicals come from a poor diet or chemicals in the environment. Purple and blue fruits can also help keep your skin looking younger longer.

3. Sunflower seeds

Sunflower seeds are high in vitamin E, an important nutrient that helps protect your skin from the daily sun damage. Sunflower seeds make a perfect, portable snack to eat on the go. You can also use these wonderful seeds in your oatmeal, salads, cereal, or trail mix. Just make sure you don’t add too much salt to your salads, salt isn’t good for your skin.

4. Chocolate

The great news for all chocolate lovers, chocolate is good for your skin, despite all the myths that it causes acne. I love dark chocolate and eat it almost daily (of course, in moderation), and from personal experience I can say that chocolate doesn’t cause acne. Chocolate actually increases flavonol intake that translates to gorgeous skin. Since chocolate has some calories, make sure you eat it in moderation.

5. Sweet potatoes

I was really happy to learn that sweet potatoes are good for skin. They are high in vitamins A and C, which are both essential for glowing and healthy skin. The thing is, vitamin C increases collagen production that keeps your skin supple and smooth, and vitamin A is a potent antioxidant that fights free radical damage and prevents skin cancer. I think it’s a great reason to add sweet potatoes to your eating plan.

6. Tomatoes

When I did my research, I was surprised to find out that tomatoes are good for skin. Many people say that eating tomatoes can cause acne. But tomatoes are an excellent source of antioxidants, namely lycopene, which helps improve skin health as well as protects pigmentation. Add tomatoes to your salads or put some on a sandwich. When you cook tomatoes, you increase their lycopene content, so feel free to eat pizza sauce and marinara too.


One of the best snacks that most of us like is yogurt. Did you know that it’s great for your skin? Yogurt contains protein that keeps your skin firm and that helps fight the appearance of wrinkles and fine lines. Stay away from fruity versions since they are packed with sugar. Opt instead for plain yogurt and add some fresh fruits to it to make it more delicious.

8. Red bell peppers

Whether cooked or raw, red bell peppers can also give you great skin . One red bell pepper has over 100% of your everyday vitamin C needs. It’s high in vitamin B6, dietary fiber and carotenoids that help fight wrinkles and increase blood flow to your skin, helping you look more youthful. Eating red bell peppers can also help combat acne. It’s an easy and delicious snack that has only 30 calories. A bell pepper contains fiber that helps you to feel full longer so if you are on a diet and you want to have a perfect skin, add red bell peppers to your everyday diet.

9. Salmon

Salmon is packed with vitamin D that is responsible for keeping your brain, heart, bones and colon healthy. It helps reduce anxiety, depression, and prevent colon cancer, bone disease and heart disease. Salmon contains omega-3 fatty acids that help hydrate your skin from the inside out as well as help fight inflammation, acne and wrinkles. Plus, consuming salmon regularly keeps your scalp hydrated and promotes healthy, strong hair.

10. Spinach

Spinach is a nutrient-rich food you should definitely include into your eating plan. It’s an excellent source of Vitamin E, iron, chlorophyll, folate, magnesium, fiber, Vitamin A, Vitamin C and plant protein, which are all great for your skin. Spinach is also packed with antioxidants that help prevent different types of skin problems. You can use spinach in your green smoothies or add it to your salads. Eating spinach regularly will help clean your skin from the inside out.

by Jennifer Houston

Friday, May 16, 2014


Food does much more than satisfy your taste buds and silence your growling belly — the right eats can help you look great, feel fantastic, and stay sexy for decades to come. Eat to stay young by following these five com
mandments of long-lasting health and beauty.

Age-Erasing Law No. 1
Shop For Color

Antioxidants are those chemicals in foods that give tomatoes their bright red sheen, broccoli that lush green color, blueberries their range of blues, and eggplant its deep purple skin. More important, they're the compounds that keep lines from creeping onto your face and cholesterol from clogging your arteries. And they take the prize when it comes to stiff-arming the aging process. These nutritional superheroes neutralize cell-damaging free radicals, which have been linked to everything from wrinkles and age spots to cancer and heart disease. "In addition to staving off the visible signs of getting older, antioxidants can go as far as to actually reverse age-related cell damage," says Bonnie Taub-Dix, R. D., a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association. What's more, research also points to a compelling connection between eating foods that are loaded with antioxidants and living a longer, healthier life.

Because different antioxidants tackle different aging concerns, your best bet is to get a variety of them. The easiest way to accomplish that is to eat fruits and vegetables of many colors, as each hue signifies a separate health benefit. For example, the antioxidants in berries help maintain cognitive and motor functioning, those found in pomegranates have been found to reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke, and broccoli and brussels sprouts contain compounds that help prevent breast cancer.

Age-Erasing Law No. 2
Fatten Up

Monounsaturated fats found in olive oil, fish, nuts, and seeds have been shown to lower the risk of a host of age-related diseases: arthritis, heart disease, diabetes, stroke, cancer, and even Alzheimer's. So if you still have an aversion to the 'F' word, it's time to get over it. Your appearance will benefit, too: The more omega-3's (mostly found in fatty fish like wild salmon) you consume, the more you reduce your risk of age-related skin damage.

Age-Erasing Law No. 3
Sip Red Wine 

By the Editors of Women's Health
read more .......

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Benefits of Green Tea



Green tea has increasingly become a very popular drink worldwide because of its immensely powerful health benefits.

It is extraordinarily amazing what green tea can do for your health.

And if you're not drinking 3 to 4 cups of green tea today, you're definitely NOT doing your health a big favor.

1. Green tea and Cancer

Green tea helps reduce the risk of cancer. The antioxidant in green tea is 100 times more effective than vitamin C and 25 times better than vitamin E. This helps your body at protecting cells from damage believed to be linked to cancer.

2.Green Tea and Heart Disease

Green tea helps prevent heart disease and stroke by lowering the level of cholesterol. Even after the heart attack, it prevents cell deaths and speeds up the recovery of heart cells.

3. Green Tea and Anti-Aging

Green tea contains antioxidant known as polyphenols which fight against free radicals.
What this means is that it helps you fight against aging and promotes longevity.

4. Green tea and Weight loss

Green tea helps with your body weight loss.
Green tea burns fat and boosts your
metabolism rate naturally. It can help you burn up to 70 calories in just one day. That translates to 7 pounds in one year.

5. Green tea and Skin

Antioxidant in green tea protects the skin from the harmful effects of free radicals, which cause wrinkling and skin aging.

6. Green Tea and Arthritis 

Green tea can help prevent and reduce the risk of rheumatoid arthritis.
Green tea has benefit for your health as it protects the cartilage by blocking the enzyme that destroys cartilage.

7. Green tea and Bones

The very key to this is high fluoride content found in green tea. It helps keep your bones strong. If you drink green tea every day, this will help you preserve your bone density.

8. Green tea and Cholesterol
Green tea can help lower cholesterol level.
It also improves the ratio of good cholesterol to bad cholesterol, by reducing bad cholesterol level.

9. Green tea and Obesity

Green tea prevents obesity by stopping the movement of glucose in fat cells.
If you are on a healthy diet, exercise regularly and drink green tea, it is unlikely you'll be obese.

10. Green tea and Diabetes

Green tea improves lipid and glucose metabolisms, prevents sharp increases in blood sugar level, and balances your metabolism rate.
11. Green tea and Alzheimer's

Green tea helps boost your memory. And although there's no cure for Alzheimer's, it helps slow the process of reduced acetylcholine in the brain, which leads to Alzheimer's.

12. Green tea and Parkinson's

Antioxidants in green tea helps prevent against cell damage in the brain, which could cause Parkinson's. People drinking green tea also are less likely to progress with Parkinson's.

13. Green tea and Liver disease

Green tea helps prevent transplant failure in people with liver failure.
Researches showed that green tea destroys harmful free radicals in fatty livers.

14. Green tea and High blood pressure

Green tea helps prevent high blood pressure.
Drinking green tea helps keep your blood pressure down by repressing angiotensin, which leads to high blood pressure.

15. Green tea and Food poisoning

Catechin found in green tea can kill bacteria which causes food poisoning and kills the toxins produced by those bacteria.

16. Green tea and Blood sugar

Blood sugar tends to increase with age, but polyphenols and polysaccharides in green tea help lower your blood sugar level.

17. Green tea and Immunity

Polyphenols and flavenoids found in green tea help boost your immune system, making your health stronger in fighting against infections.

18. Green tea and Cold and Flu

Green tea prevents you from getting a cold or flu. Vitamin C in green tea helps you treat the flu and the common cold.

19. Green tea and Asthma

Theophylline in green tea relaxes the muscles which support the bronchial tubes, reducing the severity of asthma.

20. Green tea and Ear infection

Green tea helps with ear infection problem. For natural ear cleaning, soak a cotton ball in green tea and clean the infected ear.

21. Green tea and Herpes

Green tea increases the effectiveness of topical interferon treatment of herpes.
First green tea compress is applied, and then let the skin dry before the interferon treatment.

22. Green tea and Tooth decay

Green tea destroys bacteria and viruses that cause many dental diseases.
It also slows the growth of bacteria which leads to bad breath.

23. Green tea and Stress

L-theanine, which is a kind of amino acids in green tea, can help relieve stress and anxiety.

24. Green tea and Allergies

EGCG found in green tea relieves allergies.
If you have allergies, you should really consider drinking green tea.

25. Green tea and HIV

Scientists in Japan have found that EGCG (Epigallocatechin Gallate) in green tea can stop HIV from binding to healthy immune cells.
What this means is that green tea can help stop the HIV virus from spreading.

read more....

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Monday, February 3, 2014

Fun & Relax  :)

Police: Where do you live?

Small boy: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Small boy: With me.

Police: And where do you all live?

Small boy: Together

Police: Where is Your Home?

Small boy: Beside my neighbours' house.

Police: Where is your neighbours' house?

Small boy: If I tell you, you will not believe me.

Police: Tell us?

Small boy: Next to my house. .....

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Tighten loose vagina vagina prolapse naturally

 How to Tighten Vagina Naturally 

Common factors that may cause a vaginal prolapse includes:    

Childbirth especially multiple births

- Menopause: Estrogen is a hormone that helps keep the muscles and tissues of the pelvic support structure strong. After menopause, the estrogen level decreases, meaning that the support structures may weaken.
- Hysterectomy: A hysterectomy involves removing the uterus. Without the uterus, the top of the vagina may gradually fall toward the vaginal opening, so-called a vaginal vault prolapse.

Natural Vaginal tightening 

  • Kegel exercises
  • Herbs that strengthening and tightening muscles at genital area especially vaginal wall muscles
    • Curcuma comosa herb in tightening formula
    • for very severe prolapse, 3rd degree vaginal prolapse or higher
     Curcuma comosa vagina tightening formula + Pueraria mirifica high phytoestogen formula

Venus, Curcuma comosa in vaginal tightening formula is formulated by Thai herbalist medicine. Venus  can help tighten muscles especially at genital area (to be specific - vaginal wall muscles). Venus tightens vagina prolapse and also bladder prolapse effectively which the results can be noticed within 1 or 2 bottles only.
Regina, Pueraria mirifica herb with high isoflavonone formula. Pueraria mirifica herb contains high isoflavone e.g. genistein, daidzein, daidzin, genistin andc Coumestrol that are usually found in soybeans. Isoflavones in Pueraria mirifica act as phytoestrogens in mammals. The estrogenic activity of Pueraria mirifica is much more potent than that of soy isoflavones.   

Taking Regina can increase high level of natural estrogen.
Venus curcuma vagina tighetning pills works in a synergy with Regina pueraria high phytogenic pills to strenghten, tone and lift up the muscles in genital area effectively within a short period of time.  
With more than 90% positive feedback
and customers told us that they do not require vaginal prolapse surgery any more.

Vagina tightening reviews from our customers 

This is my second order and would like to know if you can ship as soon as possible. Very satisfied with your product, tried another brand even have an additional bottle left, however their product does not measure up to yours. I saw results in as little as a week - especially in my face.
Thank you,
(We hided her address and family name for her privacy)
United States

P.S. what are your ingredients as my Gyno would like to know.


Hi, my name is Colette (my nick name is Coco) and I just wanted to thank you so much for your herbs. I ordered the Curcuma comosa and the Pueranria mirifica. Both, I've had positive results with in a short amount of time!
I was a single mom of 6 children and theyre all grown now however I started dating after my last child graduated and have met a wonderful man and we are engaged to get married on Valentines Day next year. I was very concerned about how loose I was after having so many children and on my feet so much.
I started the Curcuma comosa and went through two jars and have just reordered more. I really felt a difference however it was proved when my mom recently moved in with me and again, I've been on my feet alot because she's ill. I so much noticed that I don't feel the pressure down there like before...already!! And I'm very grateful!
Coco, U.S.A.


hello, i am a customer of yours for the curcuma comosa pills. when i first bought the bottle i could feel the pills working. i honestly felt my walls contracting. and when i had intercourse with my husband he came 3 times! so it was well worth buying and it worked.
Rosie, U.S.A.


I also do kegels, but what I have noticed with your Curcuma comosa is changes that I can feel and see.  On the outside, my whole pubic area looks tighened, smaller and neater.  Also, around my vagina opening it is closed and you cannot see the bladder prolapse.  As far as what I feel, when I press around my vagina opening, it feels like the vagina muscle is tighter, because that area is firmer and feels stronger.  If I push down hard, THEN I will see my bladder come down to the opening.  If I don't push down, it just looks very neat, tighter and smaller.
Before I started taking the Curcumacomosa, I looked large down there, big mound and all.  Also, before I started taking the Curcuma comosa, when I opened my legs and looked down I could see my vagina opening, and also my bladder at the vagina opening.  It does not look like that now, because of the Curcuma comosa, :-)

Sheryl, U.S.A.

read more how to tighten vagina naturally...
Fun & Relax V

I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell  :)

Cr: English jokes Facebook
Fun & Relax IV

Between the devil and the deep sea
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 

'Mrs. Sanders, please .'


'Mrs.. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint AgnesLaboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr.. Sanders arrived as well.  We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.  Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'  
'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'

'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town.  If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.


Mistakes & Mistakes

If a barber makes a mistake, It's a new style

If a driver makes a mistake, It is a New path

If an engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture

If parents makes a mistake, It is a new generation

If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law

If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention

If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion

If a teacher makes a mistake, It is a new theory

If our boss makes a mistake, It is a New idea

If an employee makes a mistake, It is a Mistake Only !!! 


A guy asked a girl in a library;

“Do you mind if I sit beside you”?
The girl answered with a loud voice;

All the students in the library started staring at the guy

and he was embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes,

the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him
“I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, -

I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy responded with a loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!"
And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock

and the guy whispered in her ears;
“I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"
Fun with Marriage

Marriage  (Part I)
Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady,  and after the  wedding ,he laid down the following rules:
'I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.   
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless  I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.   
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when  I want with my old buddies, and don't you   
give me a hard time about it.  
Those are my rules.  Any comments?'
His new bride said:   
'No,  that's fine with me.  Just understand that  there will be sex here at seven o'clock every
night...whether you're here or not.'


 Marriage (Part II) 
 Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on  the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
 The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that  reads,
'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!'
  'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!'
Marriage (Part III) 
 Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
 Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and  decides to make amends and rings her up.
 She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says,
'What took you so long to answer to the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.' 
 'In bed this early, doing what?'
 'Getting a second opinion!'

 Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.  
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party.  The man decides  that it IS time to go home and wants to find out
if his wife is ready to leave as well.  He shouts at the top of his voice,
'Shall we go home Mother of Six?'
 His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back,
'Any time you're ready, Father of Four.'


 A man and his wife were having some problems at home  and were giving each other the silent treatment.
 Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.  
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence  (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.'  He left iit where he knew she would find it.
 The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was  9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. 
 The paper  said, 'It is 5:00 AM.  Wake up.' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there  is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Fun & Relax

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...






His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:


A nice, pleasant and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes and said,  
"I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't
give you cyanide to kill your husband..... that's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"  
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"*

A wife asked her husband to describe her .....

He said, 'You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K'.

She said, 'What does that mean?'

He said Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot'.

She said, 'Oh that's so lovely. What about I, J, K ?'

He said-- I'm Just Kidding---!!! : )

8 Bizarre Beauty Tricks

By Alexandra Gekas

Whether it's for antiaging creams, acne medicine or exfoliating scrubs, American women spend a bundle on maintaining their beauty. In fact, a 2008 YWCA report found that U.S. women dole out around $7 billion—roughly $100 per month—on cosmetics and beauty products. But there’s a select group who prefer to go the old-fashioned route, choosing cheaper skincare methods that use household goods. From removing makeup with vegetable shortening to dabbing hemorrhoid cream under the eyes, discover eight of the most bizarre ways women bolster their beauty routines.

No Stubble Left Behind

Reality TV star Caroline Manzo brought shaving to light on an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. She swears that shaving in the shower every day helps exfoliate her face, and is the secret to her flawless complexion. But, according to Joshua Zeichner, MD, director of cosmetic and clinical research at The Mount Sinai Medical Center’s dermatology department in New York City, it's probably not an ideal method for most women. "It isn't my first recommendation for exfoliating because it can cause irritation, which outweighs the rewards," he says. Whether you try it in the shower, like Manzo, or dry with cold cream like some bloggers suggest, just be sure to use a sterile, disposable razor. Photo: Shutterstock

Get Basted

And here we thought cooking spray was for our skillet! We stumbled across a beauty blog that suggested using the foodstuff—unscented, that is—after fake tanning to make your skin glow. According to Dr. Zeichner, people prone to skin irritation and allergies should be wary of this kind of at-home treatment. However, he does believe oil can improve the quality of your skin: "Modified oil and oils are commonly used on the skin to help moisturize and improve the integrity of the skin barrier," he says. "When your skin barrier looks good, the skin will have a more even tone and glow." Photo: Thinkstock

Wipe Away the Puffiness

In addition to dazzling eyeshadows and lustrous bronzers, every makeup artist has hemorrhoid cream in her arsenal. Yes, you read that right! Believe it or not, the cream is said to quickly reduce undereye puffiness and dark circles—and Dr. Zeichner agrees. "Hemorrhoid cream and nasal sprays contain chemicals that constrict blood vessels, so using those products is a trick you can use not only for circles under your eyes, but also for red marks such as pimples,” he says. Simply squeeze out a pea-size amount and dab under each eye, rubbing the cream in gently with your ring finger—then, before leaving home, rehearse a vague reply for when people ask how you got so gorgeous! Photo: iStockphoto

Jolt Cellulite into Submission

Sorry, Marilyn—on most busy days, coffee is actually a girl’s best friend. And it turns out it could be good for our lumps and bumps as well! Although a foolproof solution to cellulite remains elusive, Dr. Zeichner says coffee might help. "What caffeine does is it pulls water out so it can make cellulite appear less apparent rather than plumping up everything around it," he says. "It may also help reduce the number of fat cells. " Applying the coffee can be messy, but it’s worth a whirl: Mix ¼ to ½ cup coffee grounds (used ones from your coffeemaker are fine) with approximately 2 Tbsp of extra-virgin olive oil and massage into the affected areas, trying to get as much to stick as possible. Cover the area in plastic wrap and let it sit for 10 minutes before rinsing with warm water. Photo: iStockphoto

Stop Sagging Before It Stops You

Antidiarrheal medicines can play an, ahem, important role in your digestive life. But did you know that the liquid pink-colored kind can also help tighten your skin and shrink pores? At least that’s the claim by some beauty bloggers who swear by the stuff, applying it straight from the bottle with a cotton ball. Dr. Zeichner says the idea isn’t completely far-fetched, because these over-the-counter meds contain bismuth subsalicylate, which can be found in a slightly different form in cosmetics. Even so, Dr. Zeichner would shy away from using it on your face. "There are much better clay masks available commercially and inexpensively on the market," he says. Photo: iStockphoto

Make Fat Your Friend

This beauty trick is one of the oldest in the books—and for a reason: It works! Vegetable shortening as a makeup remover “has been used commonly, especially for patients with dry skin,” Dr. Zeichner says. “It's helpful for patients with more mature skin who may be looking for something with a bit more moisture," he says. Just be forewarned: Given its greasiness from the soybean oil, you’ll sport your fair share of shine throughout the day! Photo: Lisa Fain/Getty Images

Buy Your Body a Drink

According to The Black Book of Hollywood Beauty Secrets, actress Teri Hatcher uses red wine in her bath water to soften her skin. While it certainly sounds decadent, Dr. Zeichner questions its effectiveness: "Red wine is full of antioxidants that we know are beneficial to our overall health, but the challenge is making sure these antioxidants are actually absorbed into the skin," he says. "So putting a little red wine in the water won’t hurt, but it's about getting the antioxidants where they have to go." Enough said—we’ll drink to that advice! Photo: iStockphoto

Baby Your Zits

New mothers aren’t the only ones who are stocking up on diaper rash cream—it seems this product is catching on as an adult acne treatment as well! According to the site, diaper rash cream helps zap zits quickly when it’s applied like regular pimple cream. Dr. Zeichner says new studies are showing this may be true. "There is recent evidence out there that diaper rash is caused by both irritation to the skin and by yeast, so most diaper creams contain antifungal medicines that are actually effective at treating the bacteria that causes acne." However, for the time being, Dr. Zeichner advises acne-prone individuals to stick with over-the-counter products that contain benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid. 
10 ways to look Younger now

By Melissa Matthews Brown

Missing your youthful glow and plump lips of years past? Learn how to take years off your look without heading to the dermatologist. Instead, try the following age-defying makeup tricks that'll give sagging skin a boost, deflate puffy eyes and more.  

"I have puffy-looking eyes." - The fix: Wear eyeshadow
When lids are swollen they lose definition. Bring back depth with two shadows: one in a light color (try gold) and another in a medium shade like bronze. "Swirl both colors together with a brush before applying to your lids and just beyond the crease," says Silver. Estée Lauder Double Wear Stay-in-Place ShadowCreme in Antique Gold and Golden Sands, $17.50;

"My skin tone is uneven."
- The fix: Wear full-coverage foundation

"An older complexion needs more coverage, not more product," says celebrity makeup artist Jake Bailey. Translation: Layering on a sheer formula isn't your best bet. Instead, Bailey recommends using a small amount of full-coverage liquid foundation. Since these formulas are denser, they're better at camouflaging imperfections. Use a foundation brush to apply color down the center of your face, then gently sweep it outward. Dermablend Smooth Indulgence SPF 20 Foundation, $30;

"How do I lift my droopy cheeks?" -
The fix: Put on liquid highlighter

Have you noticed that the supple skin that once plumped up your cheeks has now headed south for your jawline? Don't panic, here's the trick: Smile wide and use the tip of your ring finger (it applies the lightest pressure on delicate aging skin) to gently tap liquid highlighter along your cheekbones, from just beyond the apples of your cheeks up toward your temples until you meet your hairline. "The product contains light-reflecting particles that draw the eye upward and away from droopy jowls," explains celebrity makeup artist Laura Geller, owner of Laura Geller Makeup. Benefit Cosmetics High Beam, $26;

"I look tired all the time." - The fix: Wear two shades of eyeliner
"Properly applied liner opens up your eyes by giving them definition," says Mally Roncal, celebrity makeup artist and owner of Mally Beauty. She suggests using creamy formulas since they will glide across lids without tugging at skin, creating a more seamless line. "Walk" black eyeliner across your top lashes using tiny back-and-forth motions, starting from the outer corner of your eye inward. But avoid dark colors on bottom-they'll only accentuate undereye circles. Instead, use a nude shade to brighten the area. Mally Beauty Mattewand Eye Brightener, $25; Revlon Luxurious Color Smoky Crayon in Black Smoke, $9.99; at drugstores.

"When I wear lipstick, it bleeds into the lines around my mouth."- The fix: Use lip stain
Nothing screams "I look older" louder than when your lipstick "feathers" or seeps into tiny lines surrounding lips. The simple solution is to swap your lipstick for a lip stain. "These matte formulas are quick-setting and don't bleed like creamier lipsticks," Bailey explains. If you prefer a shinier finish, wait for the stain to dry, then apply a moisturizing balm over lips. Laura Mercier Lip Stain, $20;

"I miss my youthful glow." - The fix: Swipe on cream blush
Know this: If you prefer to use powder blush (or foundation or eyeshadow, for that matter), proceed with caution. "Powders settle into fine lines, accentuating them," warns Bailey. Go for creams instead-they won't highlight imperfections and are more pigmented so you can use less. As for choosing a blush color, light skin works best with paler shades; darker complexions should go brighter. Hard Candy Hide & Glow Cheek Duo Cheek Tint in In Love, $6;

"How can I get the most out of my antiaging products?" - The fix: Coat skin with makeup primer
While you sleep, nighttime creams and serums boost cell turnover to reveal younger-looking skin. But they can't work if they rub off onto your pillow. Prevent this by applying a thin layer of primer to your face after you smooth them on. "A nickel-size amount should do the trick," says Roncal. Laura Geller Spackle Under Makeup Primer, $25;

"My lips are getting thinner."
- The fix: Dab on clear gloss

Collagen production slows down with age, causing lips to lose their fullness. "To combat this, apply clear gloss to the center of your bottom lip and along the bow of your top lip," Geller says. The gloss attracts light to the thickest parts of your lips, plumping them. Elizabeth Arden Crystal Clear Lip Gloss, $14;

"I need an eye lift."- The fix: Curl your lashes and use mascara
"Curling is an important first step that will really open up your eyes," says celebrity makeup artist Melissa Silver. Also, since lashes tend to thin out as we age, sweep on a coat or two of a volumizing black mascara. "These mascaras are formulated with ingredients that condition and plump," Silver explains. Maybelline New York Falsies by Volum' Express Mascara, $7.77; at drugstores.
"My skin looks washed out."- The fix: Put on lipstick

If nothing else, swipe on lipstick before heading out the door in the morning. "Adding color to this focal point on your face instantly warms up your entire complexion," says Bailey. The best lip color to use? Berry. "It's the most universally flattering shade-great for every skin tone," he says. CoverGirl Lip Perfection Lip Color in Euphoria, $6.50; at drugstores.

Original article appeared on

Quick Ways to Lose Weight

The 51 fastest fat burners

Real life, fastest and natural, fat burners!
By Kate Ashford,

1. Catch the running bug.
You’ll continue to burn fat after your jog: People who run for at least four hours a week melt more calories than non-runners, even when they’re not running, a Yale University School of Medicine study reports.

2. Crank it up early. Working out harder during the first half of your workout and taking it easier during the second burns up to 23 percent more fat than doing the opposite, according to a study from The College of New Jersey.

3 & 4. Go hard — and make it quick. Staying at 80 percent of your max heart rate for 40 minutes can amp your metabolism for 19 hours afterward, research published in Obesity notes. And doing a shorter workout at 75 percent of your max aerobic capacity will give you a greater metabolic boost than sweating longer at 50 percent, a Colorado State University reveals.

5 to 7. Lift dumbbells … slowly. More muscle equals mega metabolism boost. Strength training can help you trim major fat, research reveals — and doing super-slow (versus normal speed) reps increases strength by 50 percent.
Plus, using dumbbells activates more muscle fibers than using machines, explains Gregory Haff, Ph.D., an associate professor in the exercise physiology department at West Virginia University.

8. Speed up, slow down. Alternating bouts of high-intensity and low-intensity cardio has been shown to torch pounds.

9. Put on weight (literally). Wearing a weighted vest (about 10 percent of your body weight) while walking can boost your calorie burn by 8 percent.

10. Download Rihanna, not Brahms. Listening to up-tempo songs actually makes you run faster and harder than listening to slower-paced music, British scientists say.

11. Let kettlebells ring. Not only does working out with kettlebells build muscle, but doing it for 20 minutes burns as many calories as running at a 6-minute-mile pace for the same amount of time.

12. Keep it up. As few as 80 minutes a week of aerobic or weight training helps keep you from regaining belly fat after losing weight, according to researchers at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

13. Add poles. Use Nordic poles while you walk, and you’ll burn 20 percent more calories, says research from The Cooper Institute in Dallas.

14 & 15. Lift first, nix the rest. Doing strength training before cardio can torch more fat than cardio alone. And if you do one move after another without pausing, “you’ll see more gains in strength and muscle mass,” says Dr. Pierre Manfroy, M.D., consultant for the book “100 Ways to Supercharge Your Metabolism.”

16. Add pounds. Lift heavier weights for fewer reps to make your workout more intense — and burn more fat — Manfroy says.

17. Try aromatherapy. Exercisers who inhaled strawberry and buttered-popcorn scents torched more calories than those who sniffed neutral odors, according to research from the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago.

18. Box yourself in. Wii boxing knocks out nearly twice as many calories as some other games, like Wii golf.

19. Kick it. Playing soccer not only torches more fat and builds more muscle than jogging, but it feels less tiring, Danish research reveals.

20. Stay in shape. Fit people have more fat-burning metabolites in their blood than couch potatoes do, scientists say.

22. Get more protein. Eating a protein-packed breakfast and lunch helps you burn more post-meal fat than if you eat lower-protein meals, according to Australian research.

23 & 24. Guzzle green tea — or coffee. Downing five 5-ounce cups of green tea a day boosts metabolism, says Lyssie Lakatos, R.D., author of “Fire Up Your Metabolism.” Two cups of coffee will also do the trick, one study shows.

25. Have an omelet. Eating two eggs for breakfast while dieting will help you trim more weight and body fat than if you ate the same amount of calories noshing on a bagel, scientists say.

26. Stay above 1,200 calories… “The average person’s body goes into starvation mode if she eats fewer than 1,200 calories a day,” says Eric Berg, author of “The 7 Principles of Fat Burning.” “That’s stress, and stress creates more belly fat.”

27. … and cut calories gradually. If you diet, don’t trim more than 250 calories a day. Cutting calories too quickly slows your metabolism down, Dr. Manfroy says.

28 to 33. Munch on these. Almonds, cherries, yogurt, grapefruit, whole grains, and spicy foods have all been shown to torch fat.

34. Fuel up right. Eating a low-glycemic-index breakfast (such as muesli and peaches) will help you burn more fat during a subsequent workout than eating a high-glycemic-index meal (like waffles), researchers from the University of Nottingham reveal.

35. Think before you drink. Sipping as few as 90 calories’ worth of vodka can slow your metabolism by 73 percent, one study shows.

36. Graze. Women who go without eating for long periods are more likely to have higher body-fat percentages than women who nosh more regularly, one study notes.

37. Dine like a Greek. Eating a diet rich in monounsaturated fat (think olive oil, avocados) can help trim both weight and fat, research published in the British Journal of Nutrition shows.

38. Stop gorging. Your body can only handle so much food at a time, so stick to 600 calories or less per meal to maximize fat-burning, says Leslie Cooper, co-author of “Flip the Switch: Proven Strategies to Fuel Your Metabolism and Burn Fat 24 Hours a Day.”

39. Skip juice. Reaching for an apple instead of apple juice is not only better calorie-wise, but it’ll also do a better job of boosting your metabolism, Dr. Manfroy explains.

41 & 42. Get C and D. Vitamin C can help you burn more fat, and D may help you lose fat, research notes. Aim for 400 to 500 mg of C and 800 mg of D a day.

43 & 44. Walk more (in denim). Researchers found that fitness-friendly offices (think treadmill desks, mobile headsets) helped people trim pounds and fat, as did wearing jeans to work, since dressing casual encourages you to move more. Wear comfy clothes when you can, pace while on the phone, and stand while chatting with co-workers.

45. Add fish oil (And work out). Taking 6 grams of fish oil per day and hitting the gym three times a week can help nix body fat, an Australian study reveals.

46. Work the day shift. Keeping nontraditional hours lowers levels of hormones that trigger satiety, increases blood glucose and insulin levels, and raises levels of the stress hormone cortisol (which can drive you to eat more), scientists say.

47. Nix the boob tube. Cut your TV time in half, and you’ll burn more calories each day, research from the University of Vermont suggests.

48. Go mental. People who visualized themselves training a specific muscle boosted the strength in that muscle group, researchers found.

49. Eat a smaller dinner. Your body may not digest food — and burn fat — as efficiently if you down a huge meal right before bedtime, especially because your metabolism is slower while you sleep, Dr. Manfroy says.

50. Jump-start your morning. Wake up your metabolism — and get fat-burning started — by doing some sort of exercise within the first few hours of being awake, Cooper suggests.

51. Get your snooze on. Sleep for a solid 81D 2 hours instead of 51D 2, according to research published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, and you’ll lose more fat. Sweet dreams!